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Who would you be in someone else’s shoes?

Posted by Chris Morris on 10th June 2010

matt_belgrano

When I was about 18, my friend Matt Belgrano (pictured above) handed down to me a faux zebra skin coat that he’d worn for one of his iconic photoshoots. It was a funny moment because I’m not really a flamboyant kind of guy, but what else can you do when someone gives you a big camp coat? I put it on and wandered down Acton High Street, noticing with interest the looks, taunts and other funny reactions from passers-by.

The sense of otherness I felt was exciting, and it made me wonder… what is it about human beings that leads us to generate, cling to and buck trends, moulding our own sense of identity as we change how we appear to others?

And how can we remain authentic while changing how we present ourselves to the world?

I explored this idea with youthful enthusiasm by applying some eyeliner (these days you’d call it guyliner) and getting my ears pierced. Then I threw out the eyeliner and shaved my head instead, noticing that I was suddenly considered one of the lads again. The people who’d taunted me for my zebra coat didn’t recognise me and thought I was a new person. It was fun!

I bought a suit and hired an office in Mayfair… and I was treated one way. I dressed scruffy and rode a bike… and I was treated another way.

It didn’t occur to me at the time but I was playing with something I now think is pretty powerful. I joined a group of chaos magicians recently and they said they’d only teach me a certain ritual if I agreed to grow a silly beard and keep it going for a year, whatever anyone else said about it. My laugh must have convinced them I’m already pretty detached from my outward appearance; I don’t need to grow the beard, and they agreed to teach me the ritual anyway.

It’s fun to keep playing though!

I dyed my hair purple a couple of years ago, just to see what would happen. I put on weight, then lost it. I wore glasses, and took them off.

It’s become one of my fascinations: projecting different edges into the world (or blending into invisibility) while remaining consistently, congruently and roundedly me.

What does your manner and appearance project into the world? Is it what you want?

If not, what’s the smallest change you can make today that will make the biggest difference?



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11 responses:

Julian T

10th June 2010 (10:25 am)

Nice one Chris, I am questioning some thoughts of my own here. I personally have always resisted fashions like branded t-shirts (for sure, why would I want some advert across my chest?) but if I understand your point here I could resist the trend as much by joining in if I wore those kind of branded t-shirts as freely as not wearing them. Am I on the right track?


Chris Morris

10th June 2010 (11:06 am)

I think you’re on a great track!


Julie

10th June 2010 (11:09 am)

This is a grand excuse for bad hair days


Nick Haynes

10th June 2010 (11:54 am)

This reminds me of an Emo Phillips joke.

I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. So I ran over and said “Stop! don’t do it!” “Why shouldn’t I?” he said. I said, “Well, there’s so much to live for!” He said, “Like what?” I said, “Well…are you religious or atheist?” He said, “Religious.” I said, “Me too! Are you christian or buddhist?” He said, “Christian.” I said, “Me too! Are you catholic or protestant?” He said, “Protestant.” I said, “Me too! Are you episcopalian or baptist?” He said, “Baptist!” I said,”Wow! Me too! Are you baptist church of god or baptist church of the lord?” He said, “Baptist church of god!” I said, “Me too! Are you original baptist church of god, or are you reformed baptist church of god?” He said,”Reformed Baptist church of god!” I said, “Me too! Are you reformed baptist church of god, reformation of 1879, or reformed baptist church of god, reformation of 1915?” He said, “Reformed baptist church of god, reformation of 1915!” I said, “Die, heretic scum”, and pushed him off.

I’m not quite sure why but it seems that we get put in boxes based on our appearance, the more similar it is to the observer the more they notice the differences.

Not sure if that adds to the discussion but I like the joke anyway.


Paul Hunter

10th June 2010 (12:08 pm)

You could also ask who you would be without *any* clothes.

What do you think of naturism, Chris? :-)


Chris Morris

10th June 2010 (12:16 pm)

I think it’s brilliant – and saves on laundry!


Martin Lawson

10th June 2010 (12:52 pm)

“What does your manner and appearance project into the world? Is it what you want” – I would have thought that it is more what the world sees in you. In the Photo above, did you assume that the person in the photo had written on the wall or did you think that he had a dislike of graffiti and was about to clean it off. We all see the world and everything in it through our own filters. We judge and decide about people based on what we have experienced and been shown by media, family and peers. By projecting a specific manner to the world will only work if the world uses similar filters to yourself.


Lloyd

11th June 2010 (12:07 am)

I guess the harder question of the two for me is the second – knowing what image I want to project into the world is half the challenge. At the end of the day I want certain results so I’ll play with what I’m projecting until I get it :)


Alan L

7th July 2010 (10:16 pm)

“I bought a suit… and I was treated one way. I dressed scruffy… and I was treated another way.”

Yes, I noticed this myself a long time ago, probably when I was about 18 or so – and I have never understood it. In fact, it has always frustrated and upset me. What does an individual’s outward appearance really say about that person? Nothing! Are we not taught in school: “Don’t judge a book by its cover” ? An individual’s character is surely determined by their deeds – not their words and certainly not by their outward appearance. So why do so many so commonly take outward appearance as a determinant of character?

“What does your manner and appearance project into the world?”

Genuinely, I have no idea. Why should the world interpret my manner and appearance as projecting anything at all?


Carol Robertson

10th July 2010 (1:46 pm)

WhOOO just saw that photo and it gave me such strong deja vu I thought I’d write. I met Matt once and I lived on a boat called Mingus moored by Camley St Natural Park.


ciaran

9th April 2011 (2:50 am)

what happend to that poximoron of Matt shyte Belgrano?


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