Do you want to be understood?

Posted by Chris Morris on 14th June 2011

I was facilitating a discussion yesterday, exploring how to negotiate effectively.

When I negotiate, I rarely want someone else to adopt my position. I usually want our conversations to create something new — something we hadn’t thought of before.

The question came up: “what if ‘the other side’ doesn’t understand where I’m coming from?”

That’s where most of us think the challenge is — with other people.

But first, are you sure that you understand where you’re coming from?

The whole group looked at me funny. Then they smiled.

Because when you think someone doesn’t understand you, misunderstanding yourself in a new way might be what sets you both free.



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